Education System Critics Gifts

'I lead your parents at work, and I want to share their grades.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

Personnel. Now, I want you to forget everything you learned in school. I'm way ahead of you!

"I don't mind them counting the days 'til school's out, but I wish they wouldn't do it on their fingers."

"We can determine your child's gender, IQ and student debt load."

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

'My father says, these intelligence tests are biased towards the intelligent.'

'Remind me again, Dad. Why did you want me to get that college degree?'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 7)- the Eternal Problem of Youth and Pedantry

'Going to school is NOT an abusive relationship!'

'Ms. Peters, hold all calls. I'm busy implementing yet another hastily conceived and unproven education innovation.'

"What did I learn in school today...I learned I don't like school!"

'Dad said that experience is the best teacher, so I cut school and went to the video arcade.'

Cutting Room Floor

Remembering the words of his 8th grade Algebra teacher, Moose bought his old middle school and made a mockery out of it.

"Why do I have to work hard at school? I can buy a degree on the internet!"

"Now that we have ESSA, does that mean we can start leaving children behind again?"

"The Feds have authorized me to leave your child behind."

'If we could just get rid of a few of these lecturers and students, we'd have a great university on our hands.'

'This is just my part in the growing crisis in education.'

"I see you graduated Summa Cum Laude, but then didn't your whole graduating class."

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

Standardized Testing

'My dad says school is a waste of time and that as long as I'm fast, I'll succeed...'

No Readmittance

I hate to do this but you know the high costs of college.

'Those are just to hide the cracks in the wall.'

GET YOUR G. E. D. 50 CENTS

"The last person you should be listening to regarding school reopening....

'I see you have a rich and generous father. You're in.'

'You don't think you were a bit harsh on that school?'

'If you're rich enough to send me to a fancy, private college, why do I have to go?'