Education Systems Critic Gifts

No Readmittance

"Your son is rude about his teachers..."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"I don't mind them counting the days 'til school's out, but I wish they wouldn't do it on their fingers."

"Night of the living adjunct professor" "What's a sabbatical?" "Tenure is boring!" "I have four desks in four schools!" "I have more prestige than a grad student."

'Oh no! The sharp elbowed middle class!'

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

'My father says, these intelligence tests are biased towards the intelligent.'

'Remind me again, Dad. Why did you want me to get that college degree?'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 7)- the Eternal Problem of Youth and Pedantry

'Going to school is NOT an abusive relationship!'

'Ms. Peters, hold all calls. I'm busy implementing yet another hastily conceived and unproven education innovation.'

"What did I learn in school today...I learned I don't like school!"

'Dad said that experience is the best teacher, so I cut school and went to the video arcade.'

Remembering the words of his 8th grade Algebra teacher, Moose bought his old middle school and made a mockery out of it.

"Why do I have to work hard at school? I can buy a degree on the internet!"

'We have to pay back our loans?'

"The Feds have authorized me to leave your child behind."

'This is just my part in the growing crisis in education.'

'He has an MBA from Wharton.'

David Cameron Parenting Classes: 'After registering them for Eton the next most important thing is selecting the right nanny!'

'If we could just get rid of a few of these lecturers and students, we'd have a great university on our hands.'

"I see you graduated Summa Cum Laude, but then didn't your whole graduating class."

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

Standardized Testing

The Yorkshire schoolmaster at the Saracen's Head

'My dad says school is a waste of time and that as long as I'm fast, I'll succeed...'

"The last person you should be listening to regarding school reopening....

I hate to do this but you know the high costs of college.

'Is this a wise policy, Ms Yomp- denying condoms to students with the poorest grades?'

GET YOUR G. E. D. 50 CENTS

'Those are just to hide the cracks in the wall.'

The Illusion of School Choice