Education Reform Critic Gifts

"These days we try not to focus on 'facts'."

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

'What's play?'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

Budget

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

'Lessons have been learned.'

"In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

6th Grade Do-You-Own Research Fair

New dunce caps

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.'

"I don't mind them counting the days 'til school's out, but I wish they wouldn't do it on their fingers."

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'Intellectual bigotry...Go ahead, blaspheme my holy scriptures, the media loves it...'

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

"No textbooks. I'm strictly Web-fed."

'My father says, these intelligence tests are biased towards the intelligent.'

"How do we make sure the students' voices are heard, but get them to be quiet at the same time?"

'Remind me again, Dad. Why did you want me to get that college degree?'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

"Buy stock in a college?...I don't think you can...but why would we?"

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 7)- the Eternal Problem of Youth and Pedantry

Truth In Education