Education Policy Critics Gifts

'While the campus master plan does not provide for one, it does not rule out the possibility of a COSTCO.'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

"I don't mind them counting the days 'til school's out, but I wish they wouldn't do it on their fingers."

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

'My father says, these intelligence tests are biased towards the intelligent.'

'Remind me again, Dad. Why did you want me to get that college degree?'

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 7)- the Eternal Problem of Youth and Pedantry

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

"Implications of Reaganism."

'Going to school is NOT an abusive relationship!'

iDeasy

'Ms. Peters, hold all calls. I'm busy implementing yet another hastily conceived and unproven education innovation.'

"What did I learn in school today...I learned I don't like school!"

'Dad said that experience is the best teacher, so I cut school and went to the video arcade.'

Remembering the words of his 8th grade Algebra teacher, Moose bought his old middle school and made a mockery out of it.

Cutting Room Floor

"Now that we have ESSA, does that mean we can start leaving children behind again?"

"Why do I have to work hard at school? I can buy a degree on the internet!"

"The Feds have authorized me to leave your child behind."

"That's the parents' section."

"All I know is this sounds like the kind of thing that could get a political appointee in trouble."

'This is just my part in the growing crisis in education.'

'If we could just get rid of a few of these lecturers and students, we'd have a great university on our hands.'

"I see you graduated Summa Cum Laude, but then didn't your whole graduating class."

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

'Can we 'dumb it down' a bit, Mrs. Whipplemore?'

Standardized Testing

"Let's see...I believe a computer will be available for your class six weeks from Friday between ten and eleven in the morning."

GET YOUR G. E. D. 50 CENTS

"The last person you should be listening to regarding school reopening....