Education System Critic Gifts

''Teach too' is a good idea in principle!'

Teacher catching pupil with drugs - "I got it off the supply teacher."

"Is this 'No medical student left behind" diploma the same as a regular diploma?"

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

Personnel. Now, I want you to forget everything you learned in school. I'm way ahead of you!

"I don't mind them counting the days 'til school's out, but I wish they wouldn't do it on their fingers."

"Night of the living adjunct professor" "What's a sabbatical?" "Tenure is boring!" "I have four desks in four schools!" "I have more prestige than a grad student."

'Oh no! The sharp elbowed middle class!'

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

'My father says, these intelligence tests are biased towards the intelligent.'

'Remind me again, Dad. Why did you want me to get that college degree?'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 7)- the Eternal Problem of Youth and Pedantry

'Going to school is NOT an abusive relationship!'

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

"What I do is create elegant solutions for problems that don't exist."

'Ms. Peters, hold all calls. I'm busy implementing yet another hastily conceived and unproven education innovation.'

'You will be appointed principal of a school and you will resist change for your entire career,'

"What did I learn in school today...I learned I don't like school!"

"Why do I have to work hard at school? I can buy a degree on the internet!"

'Dad said that experience is the best teacher, so I cut school and went to the video arcade.'

Remembering the words of his 8th grade Algebra teacher, Moose bought his old middle school and made a mockery out of it.

Civilian Oversight

"No, you cannot impeach your teacher!"

Cutting Room Floor

"The Feds have authorized me to leave your child behind."

'No darling, it's not a programme about choice of schools.'

'What's the point of all this school business when we can just look up things on the internet?'

'This is just my part in the growing crisis in education.'

"The good news is that the Remedial Learning Program is more popular than ever, which is also the bad news."

'If we could just get rid of a few of these lecturers and students, we'd have a great university on our hands.'

"I see you graduated Summa Cum Laude, but then didn't your whole graduating class."