School System Critic Gifts

'Ms. Peters, hold all calls. I'm busy implementing yet another hastily conceived and unproven education innovation.'

"It's a broken education system when the only solution is more and more homework."

'This is just my part in the growing crisis in education.'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"I don't mind them counting the days 'til school's out, but I wish they wouldn't do it on their fingers."

'Oh no! The sharp elbowed middle class!'

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

'My father says, these intelligence tests are biased towards the intelligent.'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

'Remind me again, Dad. Why did you want me to get that college degree?'

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 7)- the Eternal Problem of Youth and Pedantry

"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."

'Going to school is NOT an abusive relationship!'

"What did I learn in school today...I learned I don't like school!"

"I won't do the 'What I did on my summer vacation' assignment. I consider it a privacy issue."

'A hidden cost of implementing common core standards in education...'

'Take this back to the committee. Since this is a school I would like the mission statement to mention education.'

'Dad said that experience is the best teacher, so I cut school and went to the video arcade.'

"I don't want your teacher to think a kid with grades this bad....could possibly have a father who could read or write."

"Why do I have to work hard at school? I can buy a degree on the internet!"

Cutting Room Floor

"The Feds have authorized me to leave your child behind."

Grading Guidelines.

"I see you graduated Summa Cum Laude, but then didn't your whole graduating class."

David Cameron Parenting Classes: 'After registering them for Eton the next most important thing is selecting the right nanny!'

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

'I would probably do a lot better if you would just teach me stuff I already know.'

Standardized Testing

"Studies show teens get sleepy later than adults and need more sleep. We should start the school day later..."

"I thought we were hosting a group of parents who wanted to complain about critical race theory and sex education. . ."

I hate to do this but you know the high costs of college.

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