School System Critic Pillows

'Ms. Peters, hold all calls. I'm busy implementing yet another hastily conceived and unproven education innovation.'

"It's a broken education system when the only solution is more and more homework."

'This is just my part in the growing crisis in education.'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"I don't mind them counting the days 'til school's out, but I wish they wouldn't do it on their fingers."

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

'Oh no! The sharp elbowed middle class!'

'My father says, these intelligence tests are biased towards the intelligent.'

'Remind me again, Dad. Why did you want me to get that college degree?'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 7)- the Eternal Problem of Youth and Pedantry

"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."

'Going to school is NOT an abusive relationship!'

"I won't do the 'What I did on my summer vacation' assignment. I consider it a privacy issue."

"What did I learn in school today...I learned I don't like school!"

'A hidden cost of implementing common core standards in education...'

'Take this back to the committee. Since this is a school I would like the mission statement to mention education.'

"I don't want your teacher to think a kid with grades this bad....could possibly have a father who could read or write."

"Why do I have to work hard at school? I can buy a degree on the internet!"

'Dad said that experience is the best teacher, so I cut school and went to the video arcade.'

"The Feds have authorized me to leave your child behind."

Grading Guidelines.

"I see you graduated Summa Cum Laude, but then didn't your whole graduating class."

David Cameron Parenting Classes: 'After registering them for Eton the next most important thing is selecting the right nanny!'

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

'I would probably do a lot better if you would just teach me stuff I already know.'

"Studies show teens get sleepy later than adults and need more sleep. We should start the school day later..."

Standardized Testing

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The Illusion of School Choice

I hate to do this but you know the high costs of college.

'Since when did we start getting report cards, too?'