Education Policy Critic Gifts

"The Feds have authorized me to leave your child behind."

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

'No, I haven't been sent home early...I've been sent home permanently!'

'Blimey - they're not bringing back corporal punishment?'

"The last person you should be listening to regarding school reopening....

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

"I don't mind them counting the days 'til school's out, but I wish they wouldn't do it on their fingers."

"Not only should science be Bible-based, Creationism, but also math, Roman numerals!"

'The legislation HR2109 would increase state aid to education. Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for you.'

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

'My father says, these intelligence tests are biased towards the intelligent.'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

'Remind me again, Dad. Why did you want me to get that college degree?'

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 7)- the Eternal Problem of Youth and Pedantry

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

"What I do is create elegant solutions for problems that don't exist."

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

'Going to school is NOT an abusive relationship!'

'You will be appointed principal of a school and you will resist change for your entire career,'

"What did I learn in school today...I learned I don't like school!"

"No, you cannot impeach your teacher!"

"Now that we have ESSA, does that mean we can start leaving children behind again?"

"Why do I have to work hard at school? I can buy a degree on the internet!"

'Dad said that experience is the best teacher, so I cut school and went to the video arcade.'

'Why don't we just close the schools, and do it all with correspondence courses!'

"If we have ten students, and no child is left behind, how may students will go to college?"

'No darling, it's not a programme about choice of schools.'

'What's the point of all this school business when we can just look up things on the internet?'

OFSTED

"I see you graduated Summa Cum Laude, but then didn't your whole graduating class."

"That's the parents' section."