Earwax Enthusiast Gifts

'It's not the amount of wax I'm producing that bothers me, it's the wicks.'

'Whales record their life events in their earwax.'

At the rock concert...

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

'Fersteimer believes in strictly minding his own business.'

Health news - hearing loss is irrelevant.

'Goodness me, Graham! I didn't think you had musical bone in your body!'

Time to trim the eyebrows!

Work related problems for Madame Tussaud

Earplugs £2 a Pair

Sardines swim in the form of a huge shark.

Flying Ear Specialist

"Mr. Van Gogh's mother let him cut off his whole ear, and you won't even let me get mine pierced."

"I talked to my son for nearly twenty minutes last night before I realized he had his earbuds in and never heard a word I said!"

'Oy, this is gonna cost us.'

'...and now I've told you all the ways you can contact us at the BBC, I'm afraid we have no time left for the programme...'

"Err hello, is this the listerning bank?"

"I lie awake at night in fear that one day she'll get drunk, and we'll never see each other agian."

"These days I feel half naked without some electronic device stuck in my ear."

'No, I don't think it's tinnitus.'

"Oh sure, a nice warm bed, a loving family, a career, but what I really miss is having a xylophone."

'No more hairy legs for me, I'm waxing now...'

Fred, refusing to wear his hearing aid, misheard his editor who said he needed a reliable source for his feature article.

Snow Shark

Erm... you got any wax, hon'?

Disturbance of the Inner Ear

Bill's life coaching, helping you put the "Great" in Great White Shark.

"It looks like Ted is out of gumballs... meeting adjourned."