Earwax Enthusiast Prints

'It's not the amount of wax I'm producing that bothers me, it's the wicks.'

'Whales record their life events in their earwax.'

At the rock concert...

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

'Fersteimer believes in strictly minding his own business.'

'Goodness me, Graham! I didn't think you had musical bone in your body!'

Health news - hearing loss is irrelevant.

Time to trim the eyebrows!

"The drummer's got to go - he's too loopy."

Flying Ear Specialist

Earplugs £2 a Pair

Work related problems for Madame Tussaud

Sardines swim in the form of a huge shark.

'Good morning, and welcome to the National Symposium on Inner Ear Disorders.'

"I talked to my son for nearly twenty minutes last night before I realized he had his earbuds in and never heard a word I said!"

"Mr. Van Gogh's mother let him cut off his whole ear, and you won't even let me get mine pierced."

'Oy, this is gonna cost us.'

'...and now I've told you all the ways you can contact us at the BBC, I'm afraid we have no time left for the programme...'

"Err hello, is this the listerning bank?"

Ok, go back through and twist behind me. Then I think we're done. Your Earbuds While You Sleep.

"These days I feel half naked without some electronic device stuck in my ear."

"I lie awake at night in fear that one day she'll get drunk, and we'll never see each other agian."

'No, I don't think it's tinnitus.'

'Ooooh! Look at this everybody... apparently Mikey here got called up!'

Snow Shark

Fred, refusing to wear his hearing aid, misheard his editor who said he needed a reliable source for his feature article.

"I found a new way to use some of this wax."

'No more hairy legs for me, I'm waxing now...'

"Oh sure, a nice warm bed, a loving family, a career, but what I really miss is having a xylophone."

Bill's life coaching, helping you put the "Great" in Great White Shark.

Erm... you got any wax, hon'?