Waxing Enthusiast Gifts

Erm... you got any wax, hon'?

"I found a new way to use some of this wax."

On holiday.

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

Candle Portraits.

Drunk Barber

'Have you had a brazilian?'

'And who told you to give the Holy Shroud a good wash?'

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

Boy recommending a shaving soap to an older man

Man using straight razor sees electric razor in mirror.

"That's a misconception. The key to salvation is, and always has been, daily flossing."

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

"Rare, medium or well done?"

'I thought I'd cut out the middle men.'

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

So I used body soap to wash my face. Why is that so bad? Details matter. Pay attention to your surroundings. Face soap isn't body soap. Conditioner isn't shampoo. Moisturizer isn't hand lotion. If we're ever going to move in together and have a future you've got to pay attention to me and the nuances about my life. Conditioner isn't shampoo? I'm livid and you have stinky hair!

'Here comes Tim. Rumor has it he gets hot wax treatments.'

Sun Umbrella

'Stan, you are assistant bank manager now, no more sunning yourself during lunch.'

'You wanted more responsibility in this company, and I agree. My motorcycle is parked right outside, go wax it.'

Work related problems for Madame Tussaud

"Of course it is a nuisance with all this soap, but the important thing is that the germs think so too."

Axes 'R' Us Store

Woman sunbathing on snowy balcony under sunlamp.

'Ethel? It's Kay! A couple of those cheap lights in the tanning bed burned out again.'

'I must be growing up...I took a bath without being told to!'

'I always wash it before applying the turtle wax.'

"Lord, if my prayers are pleasing to Thee, please confirm by fax."

Don't tell me not to burn the candle at both ends --- Tell me where to get more wax! (Published previously on July 22, 2010).

Where bikini wax comes from.

'He didn't wash his hands.'

'I do NOT recommend 'The Brazilian'.'