Waxing Enthusiast Gifts

Erm... you got any wax, hon'?

On holiday.

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

Candle Portraits.

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

Drunk Barber

'Have you had a brazilian?'

'And who told you to give the Holy Shroud a good wash?'

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

Boy recommending a shaving soap to an older man

"Rare, medium or well done?"

"That's a misconception. The key to salvation is, and always has been, daily flossing."

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

'I thought I'd cut out the middle men.'

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

Man using straight razor sees electric razor in mirror.

Sun Umbrella

'Stan, you are assistant bank manager now, no more sunning yourself during lunch.'

Axes 'R' Us Store

'You wanted more responsibility in this company, and I agree. My motorcycle is parked right outside, go wax it.'

Work related problems for Madame Tussaud

"Of course it is a nuisance with all this soap, but the important thing is that the germs think so too."

Woman sunbathing on snowy balcony under sunlamp.

'Ethel? It's Kay! A couple of those cheap lights in the tanning bed burned out again.'

'I must be growing up...I took a bath without being told to!'

"Lord, if my prayers are pleasing to Thee, please confirm by fax."

'I always wash it before applying the turtle wax.'

'He didn't wash his hands.'

'I do NOT recommend 'The Brazilian'.'

"I tan easily."