Waxing Warrior Gifts

'Who ordered the Brazilian?'

The First Wax Strip of Spring!

Biceps, muscles and brawn

Candle Portraits.

Bench Press Accident

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'Have you had a brazilian?'

The household cavalry

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

Burn out

Guitar Hero.

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

Genie.

"The doctor will see you in a week - if you could still be ill a week on Wednesday."

'Here comes Tim. Rumor has it he gets hot wax treatments.'

Human Dust Buster

4 Great Life Hacks for the Holidays!

'I'm prescribing magnets for your weight-loss program. They'll keep this on your refrigerator door.'

Our house is a mess! Life's messy, I need to simplify. You don't have the nerve to do what needs to be done. We left our laundry on the sofa for you, mom! You're so wrong. I can too get rid of my kids. You'll save tons on cleaning supplies alone!

'Why is it I can see what needs doing around here and you can't? . . . I know what cures that. . . 'Chores-ercise'.'

'You wanted more responsibility in this company, and I agree. My motorcycle is parked right outside, go wax it.'

'Yum Yum Bakery - a subsidiary of Slim-Down Weight Loss Centres.'

"Would you like to supersize that?"

Don't tell me not to burn the candle at both ends --- Tell me where to get more wax! (Published previously on July 22, 2010).

'Don't blame me, I told you to pick your feet up.'

'Unfortunately, Mrs. Himner, spot weight reduction is impossible. You need to lose weight overall.'

Weight Watchers 'Rona Routines: Flatten the Curves

Hey! I just vacuumed there!! Sisyphus at home.

"The budget wouldn't stretch to a gastric band."

'I always wash it before applying the turtle wax.'

Where bikini wax comes from.

'I think my gastric band's too tight.'

'Are the buffalo wings hot enough for you?'

'I do NOT recommend 'The Brazilian'.'