Earthquake Researcher Gifts

10/03/17 14:03

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

The Tectonics and Their Plates.

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

Old Geologists Never Die...they just switch to soft rock.

"When I kiss you the earth moves. Or was that just an aftershock?"

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"Once again, the epicenter seems to be Christian Slater."

US strike on Syria.

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

"Victory!"

Facial hair continental drift.

COP26

Fracking Zone - Be prepared for anything.

"In the late Cretaceous" "What do you mean, you're here for all of us at once?"

Tip jar

Mrs. Richter's Scale.

"Should't we have a better backup system in case our monitoring equipment goes down than a bowl of jello?"

Monitoring the Air Quality

Institute of the Paranormal: Research Division and Crackpot Division.

Dept. of Seismology. The foundation is fully funding my San Andreas research! They're generous to a fault!

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

"Here it is - 'Surviving an Earthquake'..."

"My God! There are traces of tuna fish in this shipment of mercury."

Fissure waxing - Department of Seismology.

"Earthquake? You need Tracy Island, this is Tracy Emin Island."

Corn Price Denialism

I tripped just now over by your bathroom. If I took this to court, I could get six figures. But I'll settle out of court for a lifetime supply of free coffee and donuts. We just had a huge earthquake. If you fell, it was probably because of that. You guys failed to think ahead and put in bouncy floors. Get out.

Russian Fish Eats Ukraine Fish

"An earthquake cracked the building in half. I'd have it fixed, but it's keeping the staff from constantly going to the break room."

Center for the study of Astral Projection: Enter before knocking.

'I intend to burn the midnight oil finding ways to cut back on our carbon footprint, Simpkins...'

"Not that there's much choice up here, but how would you like to go: Polar bear attack, freezing to death or choking on a piece of blubber?"

Genetically Modified Food Research Institute