Seismic Specialist Gifts

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

Felix Mendelssohn

The Tectonics and Their Plates.

"When I kiss you the earth moves. Or was that just an aftershock?"

Office Park

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"Once again, the epicenter seems to be Christian Slater."

Fracking Zone - Be prepared for anything.

'Didn't I tell you to take up some hobby other than opera?'

Mrs. Richter's Scale.

Waiting staff

Novel airport noise abatement procedures.

"Should't we have a better backup system in case our monitoring equipment goes down than a bowl of jello?"

"This cozy area between the smog and the sea is quite livable."

Workmen Lifting.

"Here it is - 'Surviving an Earthquake'..."

Fissure waxing - Department of Seismology.

"An earthquake cracked the building in half. I'd have it fixed, but it's keeping the staff from constantly going to the break room."

'You only caught one?'

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

'With experience, you'll be able to identify, from a long way away, the subtle sound of a can opener...'

"Ok, one finger means fastball, two fingers means curve, three fingers means changeup...and quite often I'll flash you the middle finger, because I've always hated your guts!"

Tear Along this Line.

When geologists argue.

'...the quake was an aftershock to the latest shift in the prime rate.'

'It's always a little dicey using tectonic plates.'

'When it started sputtering I called a seismologist.'

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

"He's very concerned about the rise of the oceans."

Entering California/Entering San Andreas Fault.

"I'm referring you to an embryologist."

Disturbance of the Inner Ear