Seismology Gifts

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

'...the quake was an aftershock to the latest shift in the prime rate.'

Richter Scale

Earthquake Research Society. The meeting's over already? Yep --- it was called to order at 8:00 and adjourned at 8:02 by a motion from the floor.

Earthquake Center. We need to name a new fault line. Any suggestions? "My bad"!

Seismology Department: good vibrations or bad vibrations.

The Tectonics and Their Plates.

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"When I kiss you the earth moves. Or was that just an aftershock?"

"Once again, the epicenter seems to be Christian Slater."

Fracking Zone - Be prepared for anything.

Mrs. Richter's Scale.

Rational explanations

Dept. of Seismology. The foundation is fully funding my San Andreas research! They're generous to a fault!

"Should't we have a better backup system in case our monitoring equipment goes down than a bowl of jello?"

"Here it is - 'Surviving an Earthquake'..."

Fissure waxing - Department of Seismology.

'We geochemists did very well before there were geophysicists.'

'I got rid of those funny little spots in front of my eyes. Now what's bugging me is a buzzing noise in my ears, like somebody sawing logs.'

"An earthquake cracked the building in half. I'd have it fixed, but it's keeping the staff from constantly going to the break room."

'Mr. President, our scientist say that the earthquake was caused by an unnamed fault in the Earth's crust.', 'Excellent! -- We'll call it 'Bush's Fault.''

I tripped just now over by your bathroom. If I took this to court, I could get six figures. But I'll settle out of court for a lifetime supply of free coffee and donuts. We just had a huge earthquake. If you fell, it was probably because of that. You guys failed to think ahead and put in bouncy floors. Get out.

10/03/17 14:03

"Earthquake? You need Tracy Island, this is Tracy Emin Island."

'WOW,this is amazing down here captain, ABSOLUTELY amazing! That quake SURE did a lot of damage to the ocean's floor!'

"Just one work, son, 'Acquaculture'."

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

Tear Along this Line.

Backyard salmon farming becomes the newest hobby in Vancouver.

'It's always a little dicey using tectonic plates.'

'It's a small operation at the moment but we're growing all the time.'

When geologists argue.

'Later that day Sally was told that the earthquake measured 6.8 on the Richter scale.'

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

'When it started sputtering I called a seismologist.'