Quake Enthusiast Gifts

"Here it is - 'Surviving an Earthquake'..."

Earthquake Research Society. The meeting's over already? Yep --- it was called to order at 8:00 and adjourned at 8:02 by a motion from the floor.

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

Future garbage truck driver.

"I'll stop when I'm good and ready to."

"Tong!"

'Let's see what else will explode in the microwave!'

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

"When I kiss you the earth moves. Or was that just an aftershock?"

The next wave

'You haven't heard anything yet!'

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

"Threatening to call the Noise Abatement Society isn't being very romantic, Sydney."

Library Grand Opening

"Vuuuuuuuuuuu!"

The End of the World is Nigh - man with placard

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

"Now that's what I call a sound system."

Playing dustbins

A question you can't ask at a football game - 'Has anyone lost their keys?'

Fracking Zone - Be prepared for anything.

Ambulance Paramedic making the 'Nee Naw' noise.

Communication

'A little higher Dinkleman.'

"Mmm... now WHERE did i leave my radio..?"

Mrs. Richter's Scale.

Nuclear Families

"Here's the deal. I'll stop playing my bagpipes when you stop playing your banjo."