Earthquake Aficionado Gifts

Modest to a fault.

'WOW,this is amazing down here captain, ABSOLUTELY amazing! That quake SURE did a lot of damage to the ocean's floor!'

'Later that day Sally was told that the earthquake measured 6.8 on the Richter scale.'

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

Natural Disasters

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

"When I kiss you the earth moves. Or was that just an aftershock?"

"You know damn well what noise!"

Volcanic ash...

"Re-calculating, arrive at your final destination in six...five...four..."

The End of the World is Nigh - man with placard

Fracking Zone - Be prepared for anything.

'Please. Don't get me started.'

Mrs. Richter's Scale.

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

'Your parrot is driving me crazy.'

"It was a mistake to let the children chose their own instruments for the new music class...I have eleven cymbals, and Billy Fitzgerald chose the bagpipes!"

'Of course the scientists have got this all wrong about climate change.'

"Ahh, if I'm not much mistaken. The sound of a Lawn Chief 420. Fitted with a 3.5 horse power, Briggs and Stratton engine. Electronic ignition, variable valve timing and a 55 litre grass box. Mmm don't you just love our Sunday mornings dear?"

"Here it is - 'Surviving an Earthquake'..."

'Get rid of those shoes, or I will never jog with you again.'

"How did the science test go?"

Load explodes on impact.

Where's the leak then?

"An earthquake cracked the building in half. I'd have it fixed, but it's keeping the staff from constantly going to the break room."

From the Makers of the Six Hour Yule Log Fireplace Tape...

ALLIED CHEMICAL PRODUCTS, INC., 'I'd like to transfer out of Research & Development for awhile.'

Continental Drift will end in disaster when the Arctic collides with the Antarctic and matter collides with anti-matter and explodes.

Alberta on fire

"Attention... attention... the winner of tonight's lucky oar prize is..."

'The gods are angry with the airlines.'

Man dislikes noise of one man band, but goes home to his loud babies, pc and stereo.

"Do I have a personal preparedness plan in case of a national emergency? Well, if screaming while running amok is a plan, then yes, I have a plan."

'Landsbanki collapses in October 2008 and affects thousands of investors,' - 'The 'Eyjafjallajokull' volcano erupts in April 2010 causing massive disruption to international airspace,' - 'The question you have to ask is, 'Did sacking Kerry Katona,,,'