Earthquake Expert Gifts

"An earthquake cracked the building in half. I'd have it fixed, but it's keeping the staff from constantly going to the break room."

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

"It's the Environment's Agency's new H.Q."

The Tectonics and Their Plates.

Pull the udder one

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

"When I kiss you the earth moves. Or was that just an aftershock?"

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

"Once again, the epicenter seems to be Christian Slater."

'We'll need some time-delay remote detonators and a big brick of C-4.'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

Fracking Zone - Be prepared for anything.

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

Safety first - be aware of what is around you.

Mrs. Richter's Scale.

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

"How was your day, dear?"

Dept. of Seismology. The foundation is fully funding my San Andreas research! They're generous to a fault!

"Should't we have a better backup system in case our monitoring equipment goes down than a bowl of jello?"

'Remember he's got a short fuse.' (Chairman of an explosives company).

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

"Here it is - 'Surviving an Earthquake'..."

Fissure waxing - Department of Seismology.

A Vet? I had you picked in advertising.

I tripped just now over by your bathroom. If I took this to court, I could get six figures. But I'll settle out of court for a lifetime supply of free coffee and donuts. We just had a huge earthquake. If you fell, it was probably because of that. You guys failed to think ahead and put in bouncy floors. Get out.

"Earthquake? You need Tracy Island, this is Tracy Emin Island."

This place is crawling with backstabbers, but they don't worry me.

10/03/17 14:03

Risk perception/Risk assessment/Risk communication/Risk management

'WOW,this is amazing down here captain, ABSOLUTELY amazing! That quake SURE did a lot of damage to the ocean's floor!'

Now do you see the point of regular electrical checks?

Earthquake Research Society. The meeting's over already? Yep --- it was called to order at 8:00 and adjourned at 8:02 by a motion from the floor.

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'