Earthquake Expert T-Shirts

"An earthquake cracked the building in half. I'd have it fixed, but it's keeping the staff from constantly going to the break room."

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

"It's the Environment's Agency's new H.Q."

The Tectonics and Their Plates.

Pull the udder one

"When I kiss you the earth moves. Or was that just an aftershock?"

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

"Once again, the epicenter seems to be Christian Slater."

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

Fracking Zone - Be prepared for anything.

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

Mrs. Richter's Scale.

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

Safety first - be aware of what is around you.

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

"Should't we have a better backup system in case our monitoring equipment goes down than a bowl of jello?"

"How was your day, dear?"

'Remember he's got a short fuse.' (Chairman of an explosives company).

"Here it is - 'Surviving an Earthquake'..."

Fissure waxing - Department of Seismology.

A Vet? I had you picked in advertising.

Risk perception/Risk assessment/Risk communication/Risk management

'WOW,this is amazing down here captain, ABSOLUTELY amazing! That quake SURE did a lot of damage to the ocean's floor!'

Now do you see the point of regular electrical checks?

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'