Seismic Sensei Gifts

Earthquake Research Society. The meeting's over already? Yep --- it was called to order at 8:00 and adjourned at 8:02 by a motion from the floor.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

The Tectonics and Their Plates.

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"Once again, the epicenter seems to be Christian Slater."

"Remedial Karate"

'It would be a kindness to tell he HAS won his Duke of Edinburgh Award.'

Bicycle Pie Chart

"you want to get out a bit more you do"

"Dr. Sykes is our expert in anti-matter."

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Park? I'm stuck. Dr. Noodle. I'm paralyzed. I'm not making any progress. Honestly, I'm lost in the trees. I've lost sight of my goals. My health units are low. Units? Unseen enemies are everywhere. I can't sleep. I'm not eating. You're not making sense. Who am I kidding? You're right. The truth? Fine, I admit it. I can't get past level 5!!! I don't do video game counseling. If my mom loved me more, I'd be able to find more ammo.

"Should't we have a better backup system in case our monitoring equipment goes down than a bowl of jello?"

Dept. of Seismology. The foundation is fully funding my San Andreas research! They're generous to a fault!

"Here it is - 'Surviving an Earthquake'..."

Fissure waxing - Department of Seismology.

"We've replaced the old look with a new look to get a better outlook."

You say steam, water and snow are all the same thing? Chemistry. Yep -- They're "ice-otopes".

"Sometimes you eat the bear, Ellen. Sometimes the bear eats you."

"What if global warming is real?"

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

'...the quake was an aftershock to the latest shift in the prime rate.'

'When it started sputtering I called a seismologist.'

Alien in Science Fiction Section

Entering California/Entering San Andreas Fault.

The Seam Reaper

Earthquake scores

Seismology Lab. I can predict earthquakes! That makes him a "faults prophet"!

"No, I paid the electric bill."

Swindler's List

Earthquake Center. We need to name a new fault line. Any suggestions? "My bad"!

Earthquakes in California