Seismic Surveyor Gifts

'Another tremor and we really will have a north south divide.'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

Tension filled the tent.

When Engineers Crack.

The Tectonics and Their Plates.

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

"Once again, the epicenter seems to be Christian Slater."

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

"Oh dear! Low-cost housing."

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

Surveys and economic interests

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

"I see you have experience marking territory."

Results of the Tropical Fish Sex Survey

'I wonder if you would like to subscribe to a theory.'

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

"Yes, Mr. Willis, it's definitely rising damp."

'Talk about advanced technology! It even has a beer holder!'

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

"What factors influenced your decision to use this particular exit?"

Surveying.

"Should't we have a better backup system in case our monitoring equipment goes down than a bowl of jello?"

"One final question... how did you hear about us/"

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'