Dual-income Couples Gifts

"We should decide now whose career will suffer more once I give birth."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Cry babies.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"I think I need an extra pillow."

Sauvignon Bonk

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

Try to guess the continent dining...

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

Cat Towels

Difference of Opinion

Mixed Doubles.

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'