Dual-readers Gifts

Man reading two books at once

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Audio Books

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

Multi-Generational Books

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

James Joyce.

Mad Hatter's tea party.

"Speed reader...?"

"Delivery."

Book

'I represent the Lilliput High School basketball team.'

"200,000 other people have also highlighted this passage of the E-book, you common idiot."

Boss, I have a question to ask you, but I'm pretty sure I already know what your answer is going to be. Ask away, minion. Can I have a day off each week to catch up on all the "Star Wars" novels and comic books that tie into the upcoming movie? Of course, Rudy. Who am I to stand in the way of your education in the proper role of a boss and his employee? Wait ... Are you talking about the Emperor and Darth Vader? Excellent training manual, if you ignore the lame social justice warrior parts.

Sex and violence/hell and brimstone.

"The butler did it!"

'She said to read between the lines to infer the answer, but it's hard to see in between them because they're so close together.'

'When I said we should read together I meant separate books.'

Man reading a tablet in library.

'And to my no good nephew Milo, who thought he was going to get all my cash - lots of luck!'

The 1 Minute Scape Goat.

"It's the Garden Street book club. They wanna rumble!"

'Certainly not, Philip! And calling me Babe will get you nowhere!'

'Does this book come with director commentary.'

'I wish you didn't have to bring your work home with you.'

If you choose to read on a Kindle in the privacy of your own home, that's your business, but we're still calling the a X$%^ book club.

Sleeping man uses his beard as a book mark.

Check out my new e-reader. This thing is sleek, and fast. Aha! What? How can you say you don't like books> This is just a digital book device. So you like reading after all? Reading? What do you use it for? Downloading books I buy on impulse, looking at the first few pages, moving on. So, so, so sad and true.

The girl with the Edinburgh tattoo.

The Joy of Pecks

"Down!"

Stop Your Sobbing

"No, your book didn't 'lock up' on you. You actually have to turn the page."