Drink Guru Gifts

Angry Hour

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'The King of what?'

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Whiskey wars

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

Complaints Desk

"This is a big wine. I recommend you order some big food."

California Beverages Map

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

Rabbit Punch

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

"Sad but true - my career ladder turned out to be a career footstool."

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'