Drink Guru Pillows

Angry Hour

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Another flue shot, Larry.

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

'The King of what?'

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

Whiskey wars

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Complaints Desk

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

Rabbit Punch

"This is a big wine. I recommend you order some big food."

California Beverages Map

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

Sharing Drinks.

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'