Craft Beer Guru Pillows

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade beer?'

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

Joined at the hipster.

Beer Stall

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

Bottle Distillery

"Fetch me another Sculpin IPA."

'Malty tasking.'

Micro-Brewed Brain Beer

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

A bar selling 'crafty' beer is more popular than a bar selling 'craft' beer.

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"I was wondering if you could recommend a good 'hoppy' beer?"

California Beverages Map

'Well,we had a good run.' - Worldwide Hops Shortage.

"Tea parties are passé. I'm opening a craft brewery."

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

"...an excellent fighting lager with just a hint of park bench."

Ernie is a master brewer! He's highly skilled in every phase of the beer-making process! Business is booming at our craft beer pub! Ernie, are those ladies old enough to buy beer? I didn't ask for I.D. I didn't want to violate the no "dating" the customers policy. Ernie is an absolute genius about beer, but lacks common sense about everything else! (Published originally on Nov. 8, 2015.)

'An no one heard him scream when they screwed on the pump and slowly drained all his vital fluids...'

'This wasn't quite what I had in mind when you suggested 'alternative medicine''

Real Beer People

Cold Beers and Skiers

'Actually,I didn't start drinking until his dog died.'

'This low-alcohol beer doesn't taste bad with a scotch in it.'