Donut Dabblers Pillows

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

Painting

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

My first mistake.

"Constant delays and confusion over Brexit are causing the firm huge problems. . ."

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

'...and that concludes this seminar on healthy living. Now, if anyone cares to join me, I'm off to that new place down the street for some steak and a few beers.'

'I'd like to get back to nature...'

'You dunk your donuts your way...'

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

"Do you have a one day a year membership?"

Snow Surgery

"A good rule of thumb is, if you can't lift it, don't eat it."

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

"I'll take a latte with Mocha, Vanilla, Caramel, Hazelnut, Cinnamon, Chai, White Chocolate, Pumpkin Spice, Gingerbread, Butterscotch and Marshmallow. Hold the whipped cream, I'm on a diet."

Computer: 'You-are-spending-too-much-time-interfacing-with-food'

'I know you're excited about the game, Norman, but is it really necessary to slam dunk your doughnut?'

"Dad, let's play hide and go seek. I'll hide your data, and you seek it. And when you can't find it, you pay me to return it."

'I think we've created a yob culture!'

Acme Tummy Flattening Kit

"My husband said I should try a cookbook when I'm cooking! But I don't think it will taste any better!"

"I told you 'spot dieting' was a bad idea!"

'Lose weight now...ask me how!'

'This chocolate bar is full of fruit and nuts.'

"Do cows grunt?.... I must have milked a pig then."