Drink Dabblers Pillows

Coffee Clouds Rain in a Teacup

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

"Constant delays and confusion over Brexit are causing the firm huge problems. . ."

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Painting

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

My first mistake.

"I just finished a 10-day cleanse. Now it's time to retox."

'...and that concludes this seminar on healthy living. Now, if anyone cares to join me, I'm off to that new place down the street for some steak and a few beers.'

'I'd like to get back to nature...'

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

"Do you have a one day a year membership?"

Snow Surgery

"A good rule of thumb is, if you can't lift it, don't eat it."

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

"I'll take a latte with Mocha, Vanilla, Caramel, Hazelnut, Cinnamon, Chai, White Chocolate, Pumpkin Spice, Gingerbread, Butterscotch and Marshmallow. Hold the whipped cream, I'm on a diet."

Captain Ahab receives a Dick pic

Computer: 'You-are-spending-too-much-time-interfacing-with-food'

'I'm going to put you on a low carb diet,'

'I think we've created a yob culture!'

Weight Watchers live off the fat of the land.

"Dad, let's play hide and go seek. I'll hide your data, and you seek it. And when you can't find it, you pay me to return it."

'I hate his more-contagious-than-thou attitude!'

'I would like to be able to refer to this statistical graph, but I have math anxiety.'

Acme Tummy Flattening Kit

"I told you 'spot dieting' was a bad idea!"

'Lose weight now...ask me how!'

"I've started a new diet. I'm supposed to put Worcestershire sauce on everything I eat."

"My husband said I should try a cookbook when I'm cooking! But I don't think it will taste any better!"

'It's just a first draft.'