Drinks Dabbler Pillows

'Sorry about the vessels; I can't seem to decide if I want to be a wine guy, or a beer guy.'

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

Chief Foreign Policy Advisor to President Obama.

My first mistake.

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

"I just finished a 10-day cleanse. Now it's time to retox."

"Constant delays and confusion over Brexit are causing the firm huge problems. . ."

"Norman's really into wild paddling."

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

The Screeeen!

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'

Driving school car has sign on the rear; 'How's my learning?'

'I hate his more-contagious-than-thou attitude!'

"I'm scanning these old photos we're afraid of losing into my computer so I can lose them there."

"Dad, let's play hide and go seek. I'll hide your data, and you seek it. And when you can't find it, you pay me to return it."

A knitter's in and out boxes

'The results came back negative. You won't ‘just die' if you don't get that new designer handbag.'

"Yeah, the internet's full of information, but after a day broadening my superficial knowledge of casual interests, who has time to think?

"Oh no! Buy new clothes so I can go on a date, and then I have to ask dad for a ride to the movies, and I got this pimple last week right on my chin! Why is this happening?!"

'It's just a first draft.'

"Do cows grunt?.... I must have milked a pig then."

'She's system two and this is the new beta release.'

'When it comes to investing, I'm not bullish or bearish... I'm chickenish.'

Toy boat on a tsunami.

Visual Gag Cardigans Cars wearing Cardigans made for Cars

DANGER - hook and worm...!

Stock Market - Ok, you've convinced me - give me one more share.