Designer Dabbler Pillows

'The results came back negative. You won't ‘just die' if you don't get that new designer handbag.'

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

My first mistake.

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

The Screeeen!

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

'Plastic Surgery for Beginners'

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

"Less panting, and more painting!"

"My decorating style is more like 'Flung Shui'."

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'

'Edwards, you fool, I'm Dr.Blake - the experiment worked! It means riches and fame for me - us! I meant us!'

"I'm scanning these old photos we're afraid of losing into my computer so I can lose them there."

I was having fun making log letters when someone asked "why?" So I Qui

A knitter's in and out boxes

'I hate his more-contagious-than-thou attitude!'

'I would like to be able to refer to this statistical graph, but I have math anxiety.'

"Do cows grunt?.... I must have milked a pig then."

'She's system two and this is the new beta release.'

'It's just a first draft.'

Toy boat on a tsunami.

Visual Gag Cardigans Cars wearing Cardigans made for Cars

"Unfortunately polishing my mouse isn't as relaxing sharpening my pencils."

I accidently deleted my hard drive, but it's okay. All the important stuff is on the refrigerator anyway.