Interior Design Dabblers Pillows

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

'I don't think he's so smart. I had to show him three times before he got the hank of it.'

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

Painting

"I bought a fake rock to cover up this ugly rock."

"Constant delays and confusion over Brexit are causing the firm huge problems. . ."

"I can really picture settling down and destroying a suburban family's attic with you."

DIY Shelves

'What paste?' (Husband nailing wallpaper to the wall).

Ceiling painter with an umbrella.

'I'd like to get back to nature...'

"This is the precise reason I didn't want bamboo flooring."

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

"Do you have a one day a year membership?"

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

"Harold! Come down off the mountain!"

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

"My decorating style is more like 'Flung Shui'."

Dracula reading fang shui.

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

Two men talking in front of half finished driveway. 'Your wife did mention you'd had an economy drive.'

Office Furniture.

'Yes, been meaning to call maintenance to put up that shelf for ages now...'

Poor Holiday Gift Choice...The Lucifer 2500, Talking GPS Device.

'Plastic Surgery. Closed for alterations.'

I'm sure it's here somewhere!

"I removed the carpeting and lo and behold, hardwood!"

"Dad, let's play hide and go seek. I'll hide your data, and you seek it. And when you can't find it, you pay me to return it."

'I think we've created a yob culture!'

"He's finally installing our security system."

'I love what you've done with the place.'