Exercise Dabblers Pillows

"Do you have a one day a year membership?"

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

'I don't think he's so smart. I had to show him three times before he got the hank of it.'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

'I may not know about DNA, but I sure as hell know about recombinant.'

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Socially distanced sledding

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

My first mistake.

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

"Constant delays and confusion over Brexit are causing the firm huge problems. . ."

'Sometimes it's not a very good idea to be indecisive.'

DIY Shelves

'...and that concludes this seminar on healthy living. Now, if anyone cares to join me, I'm off to that new place down the street for some steak and a few beers.'

'I'd like to get back to nature...'

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

The four major food groups.

Snow Surgery

'Let's try again but NO laughing this time!'

"A good rule of thumb is, if you can't lift it, don't eat it."

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

"Sure-fire weight loss program."

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

"I'll take a latte with Mocha, Vanilla, Caramel, Hazelnut, Cinnamon, Chai, White Chocolate, Pumpkin Spice, Gingerbread, Butterscotch and Marshmallow. Hold the whipped cream, I'm on a diet."

'Yes, that's all - isn't 1500 calories enough?'