Cosmetic Dabbler Pillows

'Plastic Surgery for Beginners'

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

'I don't think he's so smart. I had to show him three times before he got the hank of it.'

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Painting

My first mistake.

DIY Shelves

'Sorry Mum, but the silly haircut kind of ruins my body builder image...'

Practice Pigs at the Gene Farm

"Do you have a one day a year membership?"

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

"Less panting, and more painting!"

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

'I was going to hunt for them. Then I thought hey - why not just clone new ones!'

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

Two men talking in front of half finished driveway. 'Your wife did mention you'd had an economy drive.'

'Yes, been meaning to call maintenance to put up that shelf for ages now...'

'I've got to get in shape. I visited a fitness website and now I'm sore.'

I was having fun making log letters when someone asked "why?" So I Qui

"He's finally installing our security system."

'I hate his more-contagious-than-thou attitude!'

'The results came back negative. You won't ‘just die' if you don't get that new designer handbag.'

'Our 'Resolution Membership' is a no-obligation contract, complete with unscheduled workouts and spotty routines that fit anyone with weak, annual ambitions.'

"Do cows grunt?.... I must have milked a pig then."

'Just ignore your father - he's been dabbling in the occult again....'

Genetically enhanced height

Toy boat on a tsunami.

Visual Gag Cardigans Cars wearing Cardigans made for Cars

'Your Dad's OK, he's just been temporarily inspired by the Olympics...'