Paint Dabblers Pillows

Painting

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

'I don't think he's so smart. I had to show him three times before he got the hank of it.'

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

My first mistake.

"Constant delays and confusion over Brexit are causing the firm huge problems. . ."

DIY Shelves

'I'd like to get back to nature...'

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

"Do you have a one day a year membership?"

'Plastic Surgery for Beginners'

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

"Less panting, and more painting!"

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

Two men talking in front of half finished driveway. 'Your wife did mention you'd had an economy drive.'

'Yes, been meaning to call maintenance to put up that shelf for ages now...'

'I hate his more-contagious-than-thou attitude!'

'I think we've created a yob culture!'

"He's finally installing our security system."

"Dad, let's play hide and go seek. I'll hide your data, and you seek it. And when you can't find it, you pay me to return it."

'The results came back negative. You won't ‘just die' if you don't get that new designer handbag.'

'I would like to be able to refer to this statistical graph, but I have math anxiety.'

"My husband said I should try a cookbook when I'm cooking! But I don't think it will taste any better!"

Toy boat on a tsunami.

"Do you want to do that hilarious thing where we read the itemized deductions and then say 'in bed'?"

Visual Gag Cardigans Cars wearing Cardigans made for Cars

Now WHERE did I leave my memory stick..?

Coffee Clouds Rain in a Teacup

Karate and Judo: 'Will one lesson be enough to get more housekeeping from my hubbie?'

'Sorry about the vessels; I can't seem to decide if I want to be a wine guy, or a beer guy.'