Culture Dish Dabblers Pillows

'I think we've created a yob culture!'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

Painting

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

My first mistake.

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

"Constant delays and confusion over Brexit are causing the firm huge problems. . ."

'...and that concludes this seminar on healthy living. Now, if anyone cares to join me, I'm off to that new place down the street for some steak and a few beers.'

'I'd like to get back to nature...'

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

'Plastic Surgery for Beginners'

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

"Do you have a one day a year membership?"

Snow Surgery

"I'll take a latte with Mocha, Vanilla, Caramel, Hazelnut, Cinnamon, Chai, White Chocolate, Pumpkin Spice, Gingerbread, Butterscotch and Marshmallow. Hold the whipped cream, I'm on a diet."

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

"A good rule of thumb is, if you can't lift it, don't eat it."

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

Poor Holiday Gift Choice...The Lucifer 2500, Talking GPS Device.

Computer: 'You-are-spending-too-much-time-interfacing-with-food'

'I'm going to put you on a low carb diet,'

Weight Watchers live off the fat of the land.

Acme Tummy Flattening Kit

"I told you 'spot dieting' was a bad idea!"

"My husband said I should try a cookbook when I'm cooking! But I don't think it will taste any better!"

'Lose weight now...ask me how!'

'This chocolate bar is full of fruit and nuts.'

"I've started a new diet. I'm supposed to put Worcestershire sauce on everything I eat."

'Yeah, me, too — I gained it all back over the holidays.'