Culture Dish Dabblers Pillows

'I think we've created a yob culture!'

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Painting

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

My first mistake.

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

"Constant delays and confusion over Brexit are causing the firm huge problems. . ."

'...and that concludes this seminar on healthy living. Now, if anyone cares to join me, I'm off to that new place down the street for some steak and a few beers.'

'I'd like to get back to nature...'

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

Snow Surgery

"Do you have a one day a year membership?"

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

'Plastic Surgery for Beginners'

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

"I'll take a latte with Mocha, Vanilla, Caramel, Hazelnut, Cinnamon, Chai, White Chocolate, Pumpkin Spice, Gingerbread, Butterscotch and Marshmallow. Hold the whipped cream, I'm on a diet."

"A good rule of thumb is, if you can't lift it, don't eat it."

Computer: 'You-are-spending-too-much-time-interfacing-with-food'

Poor Holiday Gift Choice...The Lucifer 2500, Talking GPS Device.

Acme Tummy Flattening Kit

"I've started a new diet. I'm supposed to put Worcestershire sauce on everything I eat."

'This chocolate bar is full of fruit and nuts.'

'Lose weight now...ask me how!'

"My husband said I should try a cookbook when I'm cooking! But I don't think it will taste any better!"

"I told you 'spot dieting' was a bad idea!"

'Yeah, me, too — I gained it all back over the holidays.'

'Umlauts...happens every time.'