Domestic Life Navigators T-Shirts

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

'Keep pumping Mildred.'

'None of the other things had instructions.'

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

"Can I call you back? We're having our favorite argument."

'In Grandma's time, men were hunters, while women were cleaners and shoppers. Now daddy and mommy are both hunters, but on wekends, mommy still cleans and shops, while daddy is a golfer.'

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

My changing Body: A Guide For New Fathers

'We blow hot and cold. He argues it's too hot and I say it's too cold.'

'I think he's proud of his ability to be in the way in more than one room at a time.'

Cyber Fight

'I have rather a full schedule today. Could you summarize your grievances of the past 48 years?'

'Do you realize that I spend more time out than I do in?'

"Wet wipe?"

Kids go to school and mom goes to the psychiatric clinic.

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

'No Jennifer! I never head of mad broccoli disease.'

'I'm afraid your child support payments will be quite substantial.'

'Disappointed? You ask if I'm disappointed? Well, Arthur, after 38 years of patiently peeling away one onion layer after another, I'll admit I HAD hoped there was something more that a tough, green sprout-thingie at your core!'

'Inform him I dislike it when he uses the dog to communicate.'

'Jeremy, why can't we talk instead of you bottling things up all the time?'

'Eddie's mom has nerves of steel. She didn't send me home 'til almost four.'

"It helps."

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

"I don't know why she got so mad. I had an excuse based on a true story."

"I thought we talked about this."

"I'm afraid you suffer from 'Teen Traumatic Stress Disorder.' Once your kids grow up, it'll go away."

"Are you trying to tell me something, dearest?"