Family Life Navigators T-Shirts

'No Jennifer! I never head of mad broccoli disease.'

Obstacles for women

"Remember what we said about letting her find out for herself that she's making a huge mistake she'll regret for the rest of her life."

"Our son is at that awkward age where he's living in our basement."

Quitting smoking isn't easy!

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

'sugar and spice my eye.'

'None of the other things had instructions.'

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

"This baby will hold more than a hundred and twenty-five cubic feet of family rancor."

"How do you like our new smart water hose? It knows when you're dirty and hoses you off before you come into the house."

My changing Body: A Guide For New Fathers

'I think he's proud of his ability to be in the way in more than one room at a time.'

"Wet wipe?"

Kids go to school and mom goes to the psychiatric clinic.

'Do you realize that I spend more time out than I do in?'

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

Cyber Fight

'Son, your teacher told me that you're having trouble focusing and other things that I zoned out on...'

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

'I'm afraid your child support payments will be quite substantial.'

"No, we're not there yet because your father refuses to ask for directions!"

"The penalty for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law..."