Parenting Life Navigator T-Shirts

'We usually have some trouble getting organized the first day of school.'

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

Better times ahead.

'I'm just using this while my monster truck is in the shop.'

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

"My inner child feels threatened by my inner baby."

'sugar and spice my eye.'

'None of the other things had instructions.'

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

Wiseguys/Smartasses/Eggheads/Smarty Pants

Doubt or Certainy

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

Adult Book Store. Leaving home. Finding a Job. Getting Married. Buying a House. Raising Kids. Living with Stress.

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

Doctor Tries to Explain Breast Feeding

"Wet wipe?"

'Do you realize that I spend more time out than I do in?'

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

We're waiting to see if he'll see his shadow.

"...Mom, can you get me a glass of wine?"

'It's quite common with men your age. You've got a silver duct tapeworm.'

'I think he's proud of his ability to be in the way in more than one room at a time.'