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'It's a cold caller... your mother.'

In the Guru District

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

'Great Therapy!'

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

"There's something I have to tell you."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

'When I said I would move mountains for you, it was just a figure of speech!'

"Honey, this is serious, we need to text."

Can we talk about our attorney-client relationship?

"Dr. Stolner says it might be nice if I let you see my dark side."

'I like a woman who's open and friendly, as long as she's only that way with me.'

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."