Friendship Navigator T-Shirts

Gloria, if you ever find yourself about to marry Lance, I hope you'll ask me to stand up for you at the wedding. Menu. Menu. Hey, if I ever find myself about to marry Lance, I'll ask you to stand IN for me at the wedding.

"At least we can still be friends!"

"I'm sorry Tom, you're just not the man I 'friended'."

'The bullies tend to avoid me, so if you become my friend, they'll leave you alone...'

"We can still be friends, right?"

"Hi Ginny, that's a nice new haircut you've got there. Are you trying to be cuter than me?"

In the Guru District

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

'Great Therapy!'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

"There's something I have to tell you."

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

Can we talk about our attorney-client relationship?

"Honey, this is serious, we need to text."