Relationship Navigators T-Shirts

"If I die first, you should remarry. If you die first, I'll get a dog."

"Here's the deal: we call the shots when your're young, you call the shots when we're old, and everything in between is a non-stop battle for control."

'I feel like I just don't know you anymore, Richard!'

Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasal spray instead of super glue!

Un-sexy nighties.

"Why won't you just admit you forgot where you parked the car?"

'I'm leaving, Ed. I cannot endure another minute of our sick, co-dependent farce of a marriage...'

Say it with Flowers: But not without a lawyer present.

'Before you wish for anything, you clear it with me.'

"I know you would really like me if I could just be myself, but since this is our first date and I'm incredibly nervous, you won't be seeing the real me because I can't be myself when I'm this nervous, so all I ask is that you try to like this me until I calm down and the real me emerges."

"I don't know why it bothers me so much. I knew he was a magician before I married him."

'Breaking Up'

"Would you consider binding arbitration?"

'In defense of forgetting our anniversary, I forgot we're married.'

"You're on our 'to do' list."

"Uh-oh. The so-called marriage penalty."

"Honey, this is serious, we need to text."

"We decided to stay together for the kids. They're the only ones who know all our login info."

'Honestly, Gary - I don't care about your acne!'

"It's not all your fault, some of it is my mother's!"

'It's not you, Jim, I just need my space.'

'He should be sensitive, but not overly sensitive ��' except to my needs.'

'We met speed dating, had a whirlwind romance...'

Woman says to man: 'How do I look? Don't be honest.'

'Don't look at me like that. You're the one that said we should make New Year's resolutions.'

'What if she says no? Will you give me a refund - or marry me?'

Student wrestling with life issues.

"When we first met he was very romantic. I'm trying to restore him to his default settings."

"Oh dear, I'm afraid she's letting Mr. Cargill slip through her fingers."

"If you're going to go down that road, be prepared for two-way traffic."

"If you thought that the way I asked you out was cryptic, wait till we try to figure out who's paying for this expensive dinner."

"Commitment? I think I'm going to let that idea marinate awhile."

"I should warn you. Men are animals, and I'm no exception."

"She's forgiven me."

"Tell me- I could use a good wry snort of derision."