Relationship Navigators T-Shirts

"If I die first, you should remarry. If you die first, I'll get a dog."

"Here's the deal: we call the shots when your're young, you call the shots when we're old, and everything in between is a non-stop battle for control."

'I feel like I just don't know you anymore, Richard!'

Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasal spray instead of super glue!

Un-sexy nighties.

"Why won't you just admit you forgot where you parked the car?"

'I'm leaving, Ed. I cannot endure another minute of our sick, co-dependent farce of a marriage...'

Say it with Flowers: But not without a lawyer present.

'Before you wish for anything, you clear it with me.'

"Harry, you're wrong on every level."

'Breaking Up'

"Would you consider binding arbitration?"

"I know you would really like me if I could just be myself, but since this is our first date and I'm incredibly nervous, you won't be seeing the real me because I can't be myself when I'm this nervous, so all I ask is that you try to like this me until I calm down and the real me emerges."

"I don't know why it bothers me so much. I knew he was a magician before I married him."

'In defense of forgetting our anniversary, I forgot we're married.'

'He should be sensitive, but not overly sensitive ��' except to my needs.'

"This isn't working out - I'm an earthworm and you're a....are you even listening to me?"

"When we first met he was very romantic. I'm trying to restore him to his default settings."

Woman says to man: 'How do I look? Don't be honest.'

"It's not all your fault, some of it is my mother's!"

"Honey, this is serious, we need to text."

'Honestly, Gary - I don't care about your acne!'

"We decided to stay together for the kids. They're the only ones who know all our login info."

Cupid gives up trying to get cell phone-using couple together.

'We met speed dating, had a whirlwind romance...'

'It's not you, Jim, I just need my space.'

'Don't look at me like that. You're the one that said we should make New Year's resolutions.'

"Uh-oh. The so-called marriage penalty."

'What if she says no? Will you give me a refund - or marry me?'

"You're on our 'to do' list."

Student wrestling with life issues.

"Don't forget you have to pay alimony."

Court. No, you only get an attorney. You can't have a court appointed girlfriend.

Al, what advice would you give me as I begin my journey on the highway of adulthood? Pull over onto the shoulder and pretend you have engine trouble. With luck, a beautiful female mechanic will stop to help.

"Once we're all vaccinated, will you still want to spend every waking moment together?"