Marriage Navigators T-Shirts

'Inform him I dislike it when he uses the dog to communicate.'

'Jeremy, why can't we talk instead of you bottling things up all the time?'

"Neil Simon, where are you?"

"When we have fun, we really have fun."

The search for common ground.

'The good news is that he won't be able to sit down for a week!'

'Not tonight, dear - we're married.'

"Are you trying to tell me something, dearest?"

"Marriage is proving to be one task too many, so I've asked Jenkins here to cover that for me."

In the Guru District

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

'Great Therapy!'

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

"There's something I have to tell you."

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."