Mixed Marriage Navigators T-Shirts

We should talk...

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

This is forever... till death do us part...

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"Honey, this is serious, we need to text."

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

"OK, now what?"

'Keep pumping Mildred.'

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

'Do you take this annoying woman to be your lawful wedded wife?'

"Uh-oh. The so-called marriage penalty."

Tunnel of love, then disillusionment, then mundane humdrum coexistence.

My wife is the inspiration behind the light speed spaceship - the longer I'm married, the more I want to be the first human who lives on Mars.

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

"Do you, Amanda and John, promise to watch yourselves, mind your Ps and Qs, and generally step on eggshells in this marriage, in order to somehow keep it up and running for as long as possible?"

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

"No, Phil, I'm not grateful that we finally have some time alone."

'I'm sorry but I need my own space.'

"Thanks for that."

Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasal spray instead of super glue!

"This isn't working out - I'm an earthworm and you're a....are you even listening to me?"

'Does it bother you that I use wadded tissues as pillows?'

"It's not all your fault, some of it is my mother's!"

'I have rather a full schedule today. Could you summarize your grievances of the past 48 years?'

"Once we're all vaccinated, will you still want to spend every waking moment together?"

Cyber Fight

Sadie, we need to see a couple's counselor. Yuck. No way! I won't spend a bunch of dough to have some halfwit tell me how to live my life! But I found an inexpensive counselor who will just listen to us talk through our issues. Counseling $10. This end up.

'Everyone does divorces, Mrs.Dawson.'

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

'We blow hot and cold. He argues it's too hot and I say it's too cold.'

"I don't understand... I've scientifically proven that you were wrong. How can you still be mad at me?"