Mom Life Navigators T-Shirts

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

'None of the other things had instructions.'

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

My wife is the inspiration behind the light speed spaceship - the longer I'm married, the more I want to be the first human who lives on Mars.

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

'Do you realize that I spend more time out than I do in?'

'I think he's proud of his ability to be in the way in more than one room at a time.'

"Wet wipe?"

My changing Body: A Guide For New Fathers

Doctor Tries to Explain Breast Feeding

Kids go to school and mom goes to the psychiatric clinic.

'Everyone does divorces, Mrs.Dawson.'

Cyber Fight

"Honey, wake up! I just remembered something you did that annoyed the hell out of me!"

"You have superior extra ocular muscle strength - how often do you roll your eyes at your husband?"

'No Jennifer! I never head of mad broccoli disease.'

"This is one of those things you should share before marriage."

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.