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Pushchair Mums.

'And to think I started out as a little bundle of joy.'

"I'd love to be a stay at home mum, but I'll get into so much trouble if I miss any more school."

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

'sugar and spice my eye.'

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

'They're just adorable at this age - before they develop a personality.'

"My inner child feels threatened by my inner baby."

'Keep pumping Mildred.'

Preparing for a new arrival

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

Egyptian Mummy/Egyptian Mummy and Toddler.

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

My wife is the inspiration behind the light speed spaceship - the longer I'm married, the more I want to be the first human who lives on Mars.

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

"So far mum's put on 10 kilos. I guess that's the best passenger safety airbag I'll ever get."

"...Mom, can you get me a glass of wine?"

Doctor Tries to Explain Breast Feeding

Womb for Kids

'Everyone does divorces, Mrs.Dawson.'

'We blow hot and cold. He argues it's too hot and I say it's too cold.'

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

"This baby will hold more than a hundred and twenty-five cubic feet of family rancor."

"You have superior extra ocular muscle strength - how often do you roll your eyes at your husband?"

"Honey, wake up! I just remembered something you did that annoyed the hell out of me!"

"This is one of those things you should share before marriage."

"No, we're not there yet because your father refuses to ask for directions!"