New Mom Life Navigator T-Shirts

'Inverted nipple? I've never got a straw when I need one.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

Mother Nature

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Fitness Programme for babies

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

'Ugh Not Again!'

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'

Moms gone wild

'The Fashionable Mamma, or The Convenience of Modern Dress'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"Support the head."

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life