New Baby Navigator T-Shirts

'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

A Preschool of Fish

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

'How many fingers do you see?'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

'sugar and spice my eye.'

"OK, now what?"

Daisy Diaper Service

Birthing Ball

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

'Turn everything off...we've sprung a leak!'

"I like to consider Third Grade as just another life hack."

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

"You mentioned separation anxiety. Don't worry, she'll be all right."

"This baby will hold more than a hundred and twenty-five cubic feet of family rancor."

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

"I think this end is loaded."

'No offence. The other breast and I seemed to click.'

"No, we're not there yet because your father refuses to ask for directions!"

"I couldn't find the off switch."

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

'Would you like me to have a word with educational psychologist about Julie?'

'Sleeping like a baby'

Lady vicar offering new bride a husband owner's manual.

Baby's high fibre diet