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'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

A Preschool of Fish

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

'How many fingers do you see?'

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

'sugar and spice my eye.'

"OK, now what?"

Completely out of diapers and facing a seven-hour layover, Marsha happens upon a diaper scalper.

Birthing Ball

Daisy Diaper Service

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

'Turn everything off...we've sprung a leak!'

"I like to consider Third Grade as just another life hack."

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

"You mentioned separation anxiety. Don't worry, she'll be all right."

"I think this end is loaded."

"This baby will hold more than a hundred and twenty-five cubic feet of family rancor."

Mother's Day: 2nd Sunday in May, Others Day: Every day before and after the 2nd Sunday in May.

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

"No, we're not there yet because your father refuses to ask for directions!"

'No offence. The other breast and I seemed to click.'

'Sleeping like a baby'

'Would you like me to have a word with educational psychologist about Julie?'

"I couldn't find the off switch."

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

Cr�che Seige