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Take It From Me: Who Uses Your Bathroom Is So Not a Big Deal

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

No Immediate Danger

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

Bashful in Nashville

"My life must really be boring. I asked the guy why he hacked into my social media and he replied that reading it helps him get to sleep a night."

'This app tells me how near my friends are...'

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

"Enjoy university darling, and don't come back during the holidays, we're going to air BnB your room."

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

"And they all lived happily ever after? Boy, that's not the version I found on YouTube!"

'There's more information available now than ever before. I can only block out so much of it.'

"Forgetting passwords doesn't make you a bad person, Arnold."

'They're fighting over who gets custody of the electronic devices.'

"Wake up."

"He downloaded one of those apps that helps you quit smoking."

"I'm at the point where I find mixed signals reassuring."

"We slipped in the tub."

Student rakes leaveslaundry in dorm room.

"Two-minute warning."

"Are we there yet?"

Proverbs for Real Life. When one door closes it's probably locked and your key is on the other side.

Magicians make terrible roommates. 'Did you clean or just make everything disappear?' 'Where's my keys?!' 'You know I have an early class!'

"How much would it cost if I don't take classes but just live in a dorm with a meal plan?"

'Of course I love having you around. Before you were born, I was the only one your mother yelled at.'

A learner driver in a heart-shaped car

"Well, I don't know I'd call you lucky, but I do agree your boyfriend is quite a catch."

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

"Are you 'Athletic, bronzed male, early thirties seeking buxom, fun-loving younger female'?"