Dog Lover With A Wild Side Gifts

"No...ha-ha, no, but seriously, boy, I'm going to have to eat you now."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Dog Dressed to Eat

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

Pin the blame on the donkey.

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

Diner

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

Dog wearing jumper to hide his spots.

"Wow, what a DILF."

Gym Dog

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

Teacher's pet dog

"Actually I never loved you."

'Someone's feeling bullish.'

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

"He ran out of pee."

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

'Beware of SUV.'

A skinny dog with clown make up

'When I said you'd have to jump through hoops, I meant you'll have to literally jump through hoops.'

Rattache