Dog Lover With An Edge Gifts

Bad Dog

'Wodger want-Dogs Home is it?'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

Diner

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

"Wow, what a DILF."

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Roget's Pet

Gym Dog

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

He prefers to play fetch with a medicine ball.

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

"Actually I never loved you."

Teacher's pet dog

"He ran out of pee."

Litteratti K9s.

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

'Someone's feeling bullish.'

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

Al's Teachers' Pets.

'Beware of SUV.'